The Romanian massage

An American friend I met recently in Boston told me a story last night about a trip she took to Romania in 2004. Like other trips you might have heard of from foreigners, this one involved stops in Bucharest, Sinaia and Sighisoara. But the best part came when she checked into a Poiana Brasov hotel and decided to get the $8 massage (good deal, she thought).

I don’t want to rob her of the flow of the story, so I’ll just rush through the details. The massage delivery-man was named Romeo. She pronounced it as in “Romeo and Juliet,” which had more cuteness to it than the actual Romanian pronunciation (Ro-Meh-oh), which made me think of a Romeo in my old neighborhood who was the only one we knew growing up that had been in jail. So this Romeo asked her to take her clothes off (no towel was offered as you see in movies) and then insisted she remove her underwear (she refused). So he massages her back (perfect rhythm and pressure) and then asks her to turn around (remember, no towel).

She is not sure she wants to do it but thinks: “Hey, this must be how Romanian massages go.” She commits to the experience and by the time it’s all said and done she had gotten her breasts thoroughly massaged as well. She has been praising this Romanian massage ever since and last night asked me if it’s common practice.

I said it was the first time I ever heard of a “Romanian massage.” I also can’t remember the last time I massaged a stranger’s breasts and said it was a “Romanian massage.” But maybe I should use that more often, as the lesson of this story could be that one’s desire to touch breasts has better chances of coming true if encapsulated into the promise of a greater cultural experience.

6 Responses to “The Romanian massage”

  1. Heh, disturbingly hilarious.

  2. Massaging breasts seems painful…not enjoyable. I think I would have jumped off the table.

  3. Hahahahahahahaha.

    This is soooo ambitious-young-man-leaving-in-a-Romanian-resort like.

    I should know, I was raised in a town like that. Half of the men in our city… hm… village married older German ladies. In the ’80s, but still… How do you think that happened? 😀

  4. it’s ambitious-young-man-living-in-a-Romanian-resort.
    i have a hungover. sorry.

  5. Anon E. Mouse Says:

    @Jo, maybe it was ambitious-young-man-leaving-from…

    @Sara, While every woman is unique, barring any cycle influence, I think the overwhelming majority find such skin-on-skin in this area to be quite stimulating.

  6. This really made me chuckle. Thanks for the smiles.

Leave a Reply